I haven’t blogged because I haven’t known what to say. On September 18, at a regular ultrasound, we found out that I’d had another miscarriage. Two in a row. It’s been almost 6 weeks now and I’m just starting to get to a place where I can talk about it and sort through all that’s happened. Grieving these miscarriages is an odd thing. I’m grieving the loss of a child, the opportunity to know that child, and the loss of hopes for my family. I’ve had to let go of my strong desire to have a baby before my next birthday. I’ve had to learn to trust that God knows the number of children I will have and how closely spaced they will be. I’ve had to learn to rejoice that I’ll have a big family in heaven, even if I don’t know what my earthly family will look like. I’ve had to face the future and pray that God carries me through whatever valleys.
Practically (well, medically speaking) I don’t have any answers. They won’t do any testing until after a third miscarriage. I’m praying that there isn’t a third, but a baby instead. You can pray too.
I feel like I can say more, but I’ll save it for another day. I’ll share more about what’s comforted me through this. It’s been 6 weeks and God has taught me a lot. But it’s still only been 6 weeks and there is more to learn.
Thank you for reading this. Thank you for sharing our sorrows.